This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday is:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “sh.” Find a word that begins with the letters “sh” and base your post on it. Bonus points if you start your post with those letters. Enjoy!
The first word that popped into my mind was ‘sh*t’ and I don’t want to write a post from that beginning so I’m drawing inspiration from Laura who chose the word ‘shadow.’
I have been living in the shadows for a year. There’s been more to it than the Ankle of Doom but that’s the bit that’s left over. I’ve seen the end of what I thought was a close friendship/relationship (it wasn’t – my mistake), I went through a major change in medication and, of course, I’ve done it all with a broken ankle.
Since learning the true extent of my injury I’ve been feeling very despondent. I feel that I can’t plan anything, I can’t predict when it’s likely to get better, I don’t want to walk on it (it hurts even with strong painkillers) and, really, I’ve been inhabiting the Shadowlands.
I’m feeling a bit more positive this morning. Yes, it’s been a hard year. As was the year before it. But the relationship wasn’t healthy, the medication change is now working fine and the ankle has (finally) been diagnosed. So I won’t be living in the shadows forever.
I believe in the cyclical nature of live. Darkness is followed by light just as summer follows winter. And it is winter now. It’s the time to regroup, reassess and plan the next season of growth. This is the right time to live in the shadows whether those shadows are cast by a warm fire in the hearth or a broken ankle. If I have to go through a fallow period then why not work with Nature’s cycle? The ankle will be treated through the winter. I’ll have time to dream by the fire. And then spring will come (maybe I’ll be in Physio again by then …) and summer when surely I will be strong and getting fitter?
My garden is sleeping in the winter shadows just now. I shall not sleep but I shall rest. Yes, there were things I wanted to do this winter and my plans need to change but when I think about it in terms of Nature, winter and summer, light and dark, my time in the shadows can become an opportunity for rejuvenation rather than stagnation.